How can you know what is REALLY true?
Is there anything that you are saying to yourself over and over again? Is that something creating pain, or bringing you a sense of freedom and happiness? Enjoy my video or read the transcript below:
Today I would like to share with you a story. A story about a woman who was able to undo her limiting beliefs.
It was when I had just returned from experiencing a beautiful process on "how to undo limiting beliefs", by learning what is called The Work of Byron Katie.
When I returned, I decided, "I want everyone in my corporation to go through this beautiful process!"
The Work consists of four questions and a turnaround.
You begin by writing down something that has caused you pain, suffering or disappointment in your life, and then ask the following:
- Is it true?
- Can you really know that it's true?
- How do you react, what happens when you believe that thought?
- Who would you be without that thought ?
You then turn the original thought, the limiting belief that you had, around.
I started by taking the people in the customer service department through this process.
I asked, "Who wants to do The Work?"
A woman raised her hand and said abruptly, "I hate ALL Mexican men!"
I thought, "Oh my God! What is she about to start?"
This was a corporate setting, and I was not prepared for something like that at all.
But I knew I had to keep the integrity of The Work.
So I asked her the first question in process of The Work:
"You hate all Mexican men. Is that true?"
She stopped for a moment and said, "Well actually, I only hate ONE Mexican man!"
This was not helping. But I knew The Work had to work, so I continued the process, "You hate one Mexican man. Is that true?"
I asked her.
She then blurted out, "Well I might as well tell everybody! I was raped three months ago."
The room fell silent. I had to remind myself, "Janet, keep the integrity of The Work."
I pressed forward, "What is the statement that you want to say?"
“I shouldn't have been raped." she said.
"You shouldn't have been raped. Is that true?", I asked her.
This may sound insensitive, but I knew I couldn't stray from the particular wording when taking someone through the process of The Work.
Suddenly I heard someone in the audience yell, "That's it, Janet! That's it! You have done it now!” It was one of the other women who was in the room.
She slammed the door and stormed out of the room saying, "You are crazy!"
I was tempted to panic, thinking: "Oh my God, what am I going to do?"
Again, I reminded myself saying, "Keep the integrity of the work."
"You shouldn't have been raped. Is that true?", I asked.
"Yes.", she replied.
"Can you absolutely know that it's true that you shouldn't have been raped?"
Again, she replies, "Yes."
I then turned it around, asking her, "In the three months since you were raped, how many times did you play that story over and over in your mind?"
"A million times! I can't sleep!" she said, breaking down in tears.
I paused for a moment and said to her, "You were raped once. Not saying right, not saying wrong. What is, is. It happened. No one can do anything about what happened."
"…And yet, you continue to rape yourself over and over again by playing it in your mind a million times."
That moment, it was as if you could see the light come back in her eyes. You could feel the sense of calm, and release from pain that she felt.
From that point on, when she realized that she was the cause of her pain and suffering, by repeatedly playing that experience over and over in her head, and that she had a choice, a choice to be in pain or to have freedom, she stopped.
After going through this process, she went on to became one of the top people in her department.
Is there anything you are saying to yourself over and over again that is creating your story? Is that something creating pain, or bringing you a sense of freedom and happiness?
Janet Bray Attwood
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