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Clearly, it is the concept of separation which causes me whatever unhappiness, suffering, or misery I have experienced in life.
Anger, hate, jealousy, irritation, frustration, depression, worry, anxiety, fear, confusion, and every other emotion I have labeled as "bad" or "undesirable" arise from the idea that "I" am somehow separate from the people, situations and circumstances of my life.
Yet, how did I come to consider myself as separate in the first place? If my nature is, in reality, unified, and all aspects of my experience are expressions of myself, how did I come to think anything was different in the first place?
The Emergence of Separation
As Chris has watched his little daughter move from birth to a year old, the answer has become clear. When I enter this apparent world, I have removed all memory of my real nature.
I emerge into the world as pure consciousness, without the awareness of anything except that "I am." As the physical structure of this body I have taken on develops, that awareness of self begins to experience life through the senses of the body.
The newborn has little awareness of anything except that she exists, and "I am comfortable" or "I am uncomfortable." As the baby develops, awareness of others starts grow. The baby sees and hears and feels and smells and tastes.
As these sensory experiences become more clear, they give rise to a curiosity to know more, to explore. As motor coordination develops, the baby can begin to move around and experience more of what appears as different from her sense of self. When language develops she can now communicate with what appear to be "others" and the language itself reinforces the concept of difference.
She is taught to speak of "me" and "mine", "you" and "yours", "they" and "theirs."
"Clearly the world that appears before me is different from who I am," she comes to realize. The apparent "others" in her world also seem to reinforce this idea through their own belief that they are separate, and the seed of suffering has now been deeply planted, within the first two years of life.
The Game
What a wonderful game I have created (although it doesn't seem so wonderful until I have begun to emerge from the delusion of separation). Being infinite, unbounded, immortal, capable of creating and being anything, I have created myself to forget who I am.
I then place myself in a vehicle (the body) which gives me access to an apparent variety of experiences. Through my infinite intelligence, I manage every experience to peel back the layers of what is true.
Starting from my state of complete forgetfulness, at each step I am given clues to my real nature. Those clues are completely opaque as long as I believe that I am separate, but when I begin to catch on to the fact that there is a deep interconnectedness between what appears to be separate, the clues begin to become more obvious.
The things I love seem to bring greater and greater joy, as long as I make them the priority in my apparent life. When I pursue directions for reasons other than love, I become more and more unhappy.
As love and the things I love become central to my experience, the sense of separation begins to diminish. "I love you as much as I love myself" gives rise to the question, "What is it that separates us?"
The mind begins to awaken to the heart's pull. As it investigates what it is that separates us, it ultimately discovers that separation is only a mirage, a phantom.
Soon I begin to notice that events, interactions, and the circumstances of my apparent life respond in some inexplicable way to what I perceive as my own thoughts. There is an interconnectedness which I cannot quite put my finger on, but neither can it be denied.
Infinite Correlation
As long as my consciousness resides in a body, I continue to experience through the senses. But as the awareness of interconnectedness grows I also notice subtle experiences that were not obvious before. There is a knowingness that gives rise to an inner sense of peace and security.
As the knowledge that "I" am not separate from anything, that I have orchestrated this experience of what "I" call life for my own enjoyment, I begin to relax into life.
Now I have the chance to admire the perfection of my creation. To see how intricately designed it is, the flawless intelligence which operates in every part of it.
I am able to see that every particle of this creation is completely connected to every other particle. That each responds to the movements and apparent changes of all the other parts. This infinite correlation gives rise to a play of such dramatic proportions that there are an unlimited number of story lines to follow.
All mine for the choosing, and not. For inside of this apparent "me," that still exists, although no longer perceived as separate, is a love for some story lines and not for others. And then I see that this "me" has an indispensable role to play in the symmetry of life, and that role is driven by what "I" love, what "I" care about, what matters to "me."
Thus, it is in following the loves in "my" life that I experience the fulfillment of knowing "I" have fulfilled my purpose for taking this form. With this love grows to unfathomable dimensions. The joy and delight of life are beyond measure, and yet somehow, mysteriously, that joy and delight continues to grow and expand, each and every day.
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