The Source of Separation

Posted on February 12, 2009 by Chris Attwood

Clearly, it is the concept of separation which causes me whatever unhappiness, suffering, or misery I have experienced in life.

Anger, hate, jealousy, irritation, frustration, depression, worry, anxiety, fear, confusion, and every other emotion I have labeled as "bad" or "undesirable" arise from the idea that "I" am somehow separate from the people, situations and circumstances of my life.

Yet, how did I come to consider myself as separate in the first place? If my nature is, in reality, unified, and all aspects of my experience are expressions of myself, how did I come to think anything was different in the first place?

The Emergence of Separation

As Chris has watched his little daughter move from birth to a year old, the answer has become clear. When I enter this apparent world, I have removed all memory of my real nature.

I emerge into the world as pure consciousness, without the awareness of anything except that "I am." As the physical structure of this body I have taken on develops, that awareness of self begins to experience life through the senses of the body.

The newborn has little awareness of anything except that she exists, and "I am comfortable" or "I am uncomfortable." As the baby develops, awareness of others starts grow. The baby sees and hears and feels and smells and tastes.

As these sensory experiences become more clear, they give rise to a curiosity to know more, to explore. As motor coordination develops, the baby can begin to move around and experience more of what appears as different from her sense of self. When language develops she can now communicate with what appear to be "others" and the language itself reinforces the concept of difference.

She is taught to speak of "me" and "mine", "you" and "yours", "they" and "theirs."

"Clearly the world that appears before me is different from who I am," she comes to realize. The apparent "others" in her world also seem to reinforce this idea through their own belief that they are separate, and the seed of suffering has now been deeply planted, within the first two years of life.

The Game

What a wonderful game I have created (although it doesn't seem so wonderful until I have begun to emerge from the delusion of separation). Being infinite, unbounded, immortal, capable of creating and being anything, I have created myself to forget who I am.

I then place myself in a vehicle (the body) which gives me access to an apparent variety of experiences. Through my infinite intelligence, I manage every experience to peel back the layers of what is true.

Starting from my state of complete forgetfulness, at each step I am given clues to my real nature. Those clues are completely opaque as long as I believe that I am separate, but when I begin to catch on to the fact that there is a deep interconnectedness between what appears to be separate, the clues begin to become more obvious.

The things I love seem to bring greater and greater joy, as long as I make them the priority in my apparent life. When I pursue directions for reasons other than love, I become more and more unhappy.

As love and the things I love become central to my experience, the sense of separation begins to diminish. "I love you as much as I love myself" gives rise to the question, "What is it that separates us?"

The mind begins to awaken to the heart's pull. As it investigates what it is that separates us, it ultimately discovers that separation is only a mirage, a phantom.

Soon I begin to notice that events, interactions, and the circumstances of my apparent life respond in some inexplicable way to what I perceive as my own thoughts. There is an interconnectedness which I cannot quite put my finger on, but neither can it be denied.

Infinite Correlation

As long as my consciousness resides in a body, I continue to experience through the senses. But as the awareness of interconnectedness grows I also notice subtle experiences that were not obvious before. There is a knowingness that gives rise to an inner sense of peace and security.

As the knowledge that "I" am not separate from anything, that I have orchestrated this experience of what "I" call life for my own enjoyment, I begin to relax into life.

Now I have the chance to admire the perfection of my creation. To see how intricately designed it is, the flawless intelligence which operates in every part of it.

I am able to see that every particle of this creation is completely connected to every other particle. That each responds to the movements and apparent changes of all the other parts. This infinite correlation gives rise to a play of such dramatic proportions that there are an unlimited number of story lines to follow.

All mine for the choosing, and not. For inside of this apparent "me," that still exists, although no longer perceived as separate, is a love for some story lines and not for others. And then I see that this "me" has an indispensable role to play in the symmetry of life, and that role is driven by what "I" love, what "I" care about, what matters to "me."

Thus, it is in following the loves in "my" life that I experience the fulfillment of knowing "I" have fulfilled my purpose for taking this form. With this love grows to unfathomable dimensions. The joy and delight of life are beyond measure, and yet somehow, mysteriously, that joy and delight continues to grow and expand, each and every day.

Living in Awe

Posted on December 3, 2008 by Chris Attwood

Language reenforces duality and as such, makes the experience of unity elusive when the mind believes the words it speaks. In order to speak sound must become dual.

There must be sound and no sound, words and the gaps between the words, in order for language to exist. However, language also provides me with words to describe what I conceive of as "I" and that which I conceive of as "you." In other words, it provides reenforcement of the illusion of duality.

Even as I read this page, I interpret the "I" referred to on the page in the context of my belief about what "I" is. If my mind is still in the grip of duality, then it will tend to interpret this "I" as meaning someone other than myself. There is a writer, who has written on the page and that writer is "someone else."

In unity, the writer, the process of writing and that which is written are one. The reader, the process of reading and that which is read are one. And the writer, the reader and the writing are one.

In the ancient Vedic texts this is called "samhita of rishi, devata and chhandas." Samhita means "togetherness." Rishi is the knower of reality. Devata is the process of knowing. Chhandas is that which is known. The togetherness of knower, process of knowing and known.

Togetherness of Knower, Process of Knowing and Known

The rishis of ancient India were also those who cognized the nature of life. From their own experience they saw into the truth of life and then wrote about it, or spoke about it in a form that could be passed on from generation to generation.

Devata is sometimes translated as "god" (god with a small "g", there being many of them). But when one understands the real meaning of devata, one discovers that these "gods" are in fact the very structure of the laws of nature responsible for the transformations that appear to occur in life.

Chhandas has several meanings. It refers to the meter, or rhythm of the Vedic verses. It is also translated as "that which covers." Chhandas is the expressed version of the rishi aspect of life, that part of life which I describe as "wholeness." This aspect of life is what was cognized by the ancient rishis and through the rhythm, the ebb and flow, the inward and outward breath, the movement of contraction and expansion, chhandas hides the truth of life. When I experience the chhandas, I forget the whole. But when my awareness is immersed in wholeness, then chhandas provides waves of bliss.

This realization, that I, as knower, the process by which I know anything, and that which I know are not separate, is the realization of unity. The truth of life exists in the wisdom of the togetherness of these which appear as three and yet are completely, intimately and inseparably connected.

I can imagine a jigsaw puzzle which is made up of many pieces, yet when they are all put together, they form one coherent whole. In a similar way, I, through my own consciousness, have selectively hidden (through chhandas) parts of myself from myself. The pieces of the puzzle are always put together and always form a whole in life, but it's as if I have covered over many of the pieces. Rather than putting the pieces together, I unveil pieces that were hidden fron my view.

As more and more pieces come into my view, the picture of the whole of life begins to unfold. The more of that picture I perceive, the more beautiful it is. I realize that every single piece in the puzzle is essential to the wholeness of the picture.

And I am left in awe.

Infinite Play

Posted on November 22, 2008 by Chris Attwood

Amit asked about the interaction between the physical body and the cosmic body. In order for there to be an interaction there has to be two. From the perspective of unity, the interaction is an illusion.

However, I can examine any apparent interaction and learn more about my own nature. This apparent interaction is here for my play, my delight. This is not only true of the interaction between the physical body and the cosmic body, it is true of all interactions.

Chemistry examines the interactions of molecules and atoms. There is a whole world there which fascinates chemists. Every new discovery allows the chemist to do new things, to create new compounds, stimulate new reactions. Each new discovery provides a deeper experience of the Self, of who I am.

Mathematics examines the interactions of numbers. In this world there is an infinite play and an infinite number of interactions which can be examined, an infinite number of discoveries to be made. What great fun for the mathematician!

The same is true of every field of life: physics, philosophy, family planning, biology, physiology, furniture making, electronics, psychology. In any field of investigation there are an infinite number of relationships and interactions to be examined, to learn from, to explore. Each of them leads to a greater understanding of the structure and nature of life.

I love how clearly matematics illustrates this point. How many numbers are there when you begin counting from 0? An infinite number. How many negative numbers are there where when you begin counting from 0? An infinite number. How many numbers are there between 0 and 1? An infinite number.

Whereever you look, the possibilities are infinte. There is no end to the fun to be had.

The Physical Body and the Cosmic Body

So what is the interaction between the physical body and the cosmic body? The answer must be infinite.

A complete knowledge of the physical body should provide complete knowledge of the cosmic body.

Professor Tony Nader M.D., Ph.D., known now as "the First Ruler of the Global Country of World Peace, Maharaja Adhiraj Raja Raam," has described this in some detail. As stated in his bio, he "has demonstrated scientifically that the human physiology is made of the 40 aspects of Veda and Vedic Literature, and that all the infinite organizing powers of all kinds and the whole cosmos, are seated in the physiology of every human being."

The bio continues, "Therefore every individual -- whether Christian or Hindu, Muslim or Buddhist, Sikh or Jain or Parsee -- has been scientifically proven to be cosmic, and to have unlimited cosmic potentiality. Higher Intelligence is located in the very physiological structure of every man, woman and child in the nation, and only needs to be awakened for everyone to enjoy the support of Higher Intelligence."

Pretty cool stuff if you ask me. Professor Nader has written a book that examines, in detail the relationship between the physical body and the cosmic body. The book is called Human Physiology - Expression of Veda and Vedic Literature and can be purchased here:

http://www.vedicbooks.net/human-physiology-expression-of-veda-and-the-vedic-literature-p-857.html

Learning from the Microcosm

Posted on November 16, 2008 by Chris Attwood

My teacher, His Holiness Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, was known to have said:

"When we investigate the invisible mechanics of nature, we find that everything in the universe is directly connected with everything else. Everything is constantly being influenced by everything else. No wave of the ocean is independent of any other."

And in the texts of Ayur-Veda, the ancient system of natural medicine, it is said:

As is the atom, so is the universe
As is the human body, so is the cosmic body
As is the human mind, so is the cosmic mind
As is the microcosm, so is the macrocosm

Thus, when I look at my apparently physical body, I see that most of its activities go on without my conscious involvement. Yet, in spite of this, there is an intelligence at work which insures that every part is perfectly coordinated with every other part.

I also see that there never seems to be an accident or a mistake within this body. Thanks to the investigations of modern physiology I see that activities within this apparent body always occur in a very structured and orderly way.

There is one important difference between this physical body and "my" cosmic body, which encompasses all of the manifest creation. With the physical body there appears to be an inside and an outside. It appears that I ingest food or drink or other things from "outside" and then the body reacts to those things in definable ways.

However, there is no "outside" of the cosmic body. There is only the innate intelligence of consciousness which gives life and direction to this cosmic body. Whereas "my" apparent physical body gains sustenance from the food and drink which I ingest, "my" cosmic body gains sustenance from the consciousness from which it springs, of which it is made and which completely permeates every part of it.

Maharishi used to talk about it as being like the sap in a tree. The sap transforms to become the roots, the trunk, the bark, the leaves, the flower and the fruit of the tree. Yet, if one breaks open any of these, one will find the sap there. The sap is ever present, even as it morphs to become the various aspects of the tree.

In a similar way, all of creation is formed from consciousness, and wherever one looks, into whatever part of creation one investigates, one still finds order, intelligence, the organizing structure of consciousness present there.

All this leads me to conclude that there is no experience in my life which is random, accidental or a mistake. Each experience is myself, unfolding my Self to my self. With each new experience I have the chance to know myself more fully, discover my own nature more completely.

Each person I meet, each situation or circumstance in which I find myself is all me. It's all the perfect interplay of "my" intelligence interacting with itself to know itself, to revel in itself.

Unhappiness or suffering is only possible when I hold on to one part to the exclusion of another part. When I try to hold on to this body or this way of living or this experience or this relationship, and try to convince my self that the way it is, is better, only then do I suffer.

When I know every new experience, every new person, every new situation, every new circustance as my self coming to meet me, to greet me and to show me more fully the beauty and glory of who and what I am, then there is only joy.

Both And - Beyond the Intellect

Posted on October 25, 2008 by Chris Attwood

Either-or is the nature of duality. Both-and is the nature of unity.

Circumstances are either good or bad in duality. They are both good and bad in unity. In unity, even just the bad can be found to be good, hence the phrase, "it's all good."

Life is both determined, and I have compete freedom of choice.

How can that possible be? Unity is beyond the intellect.

Life is determined by the structure of intelligence embedded in every particle of creation that ensures life is always moving toward greater and greater joy. I have complete freedom to choose in this moment what I give attention to.

Life is nothing but my story about it. My experience of life is what I tell myself life is. If this is true, why not tell myself a happy story? Like this:

There are three fundamental forces in this apparent life: creation, maintenance and destruction.

In order for the new to be created, the old must be destroyed. Destruction of something I think I like is generally what I call "bad." Anytime I see destruction, of anything, no matter how dear it may have been to me, it is creating the way for something new to be created.

Now, I might make the argument that the "new" being created is worse than the "old" that was destroyed. But how can I know with certainty that that is true? It can only be "worse" from a limited point of view, because when I look at anything I have ever known and view it over some period of time, it always seems to get more interesting as the new gets created from the old. It only appears "worse" when I limit the time frame within which I view it.

With this, I have to come to the conclusion that nothing "bad" ever happens. The only thing that ever happens is the appearance of change. The story of life is the story of change. The constant of life is that what appears is always changing and what is unseen never changes.

What is real?

Whenever something that is dear to me gets destroyed, it reminds me that my happiness cannot be found in that which changes. Thus destruction is always for the sake of bringing me back to that which never changes.

As this process of destruction draws my attention inward, away from the field of the senses, I discover that deep within my own experience of life is peace, calm, bliss.

This field of life is always there, always accessible to me.

The real is that which I can count on. It is the never changing field of bliss, and the ever changing field of the senses. That field of bliss is always there. And the field of sensory experience is always changing.

Both-and. Never changing and ever changing. Both together.

Fulfillment lies in accepting and embracing both-and.

From Responsibility to Opportunity

Posted on October 11, 2008 by Chris Attwood

As I view this apparent world, which is all my Self, there is nothing left to be done. All that needs to be done is being done.

The planets circle around the sun, the stars move through the galaxies, and all the apparent diversity of life is perfectly orchestrated and guided in every moment.

There is nothing that "I" need to do. It's all taken care of. What freedom!

I have no responsibility to make sure everything is OK. Making sure that everything is OK is automatically built into my nature. It is built into every particle of every aspect of every moment of life.

If I have no responsibility for the maintenance and management of this apparent world, then what is left for me? What is there to motivate action?

Joy. To experience more joy is the only reason to act.

When I am lost in the illusion of separation, I create a mental entanglement that convinces me my happiness depends on getting more for "me." But because this mental illusion is rooted in the unreal, my pursuit of more brings me less and less joy. The more this separated "I" pursues joy through acquisition, the more miserable "I" become and "I" have no choice but to look deeper for what will bring joy.

In unity, I may experience "happiness" coming and going, but there is never any lack of joy. My joy is rooted in the happiness and fulfillment of every aspect of creation. When there is a win, a success, an insight, in any part of "my" world, it is my joy—for it is my win, my success, my insight.

I am relieved of the need to accomplish anything because it is all being accomplished perfectly. I am relieved of guilt and struggle and strain. "My" actions become driven by what I love, for when "I" feel connected to what I love, then I experience joy.

So, instead of responsibility, I have opportunity. I have the opportunity to love. The more I love, the more joy I experience. Is it any surprise that my love expands to encompass every single part of this apparent world? With infinite love comes infinite joy.

The magnificence of this apparent creation is in evidence once again. As each "me" in this universe pursues what they love, is driven by their "passions", their apparently individual joy increases, and the joy that comes from the interconnection of all these loves increases as well.

Love and joy are inseparably interconnected.

All that remains for me to do is to love. The more I love, the more joy I experience. This means that if "I" have any responsibility at all, it is to discover anything that "I" don't love, and find a way to love it.

Which inevitably brings me back to the experience of unity.

"I" can only fail to love someone or something when I am rooted in separation. The inability to love only exists in the mental world of "good" and "bad", "lovable" and "unlovable", "noble" and "detestable", "pure" and "impure." In such a world there are things that "I" love, and things which "I" can never love.

Of course, this is the imaginary world of mental constructs. In the experience of unity, all that the mind judges as "bad" has the purpose of bringing "me" back to my Self. It creates contraction which forces "me" to go within and gain more clarity. Since the experience of my Self is the experience of pure bliss, pure love, pure joy, what a tremendous gift the "bad," the "unlovable," the "detestable," and the "impure" are.

From this perspective how can "I" do anything, but love and adore these gifts when they come into my life? And in that love, I experience joy.

Unity is Experienced Through Connection

Posted on October 7, 2008 by Chris Attwood

Unity realized is bliss realized. Bliss arises from my connection with my Self.

Connection is fun, delightful, exciting, inspiring, and interesting. Separation is boring, depressing, and ultimately intolerable. It is through connection that I discover myself.

This doesn't mean I always want to be with people. Sometimes more people means more sense of separation. Connection is the connection to myself. The power of meditation is in allowing myself to dive within myself to connect with the unbounded, infinite, eternal, limitless magic of myself.

When that magic predominates my experience, then the connections with the apparent people in my world become magical. This is the magnetic attraction of Facebook. Through the simple sharing of what I'm doing right now, Facebook allows me to connect with the daily lives of hundreds or even thousands of other people.

In doing that I'm connecting with hundreds or thousands of expressions of myself, and what can be more fun than that?

The more deeply I connect with myself, the more joy I experience in life. As this realization more fully dawns, I discover that this is all life was ever about. No matter how much fun it may be to accomplish things, achieve things, or be recognized for things, none of it matters at all once those things have been achieved or accomplished or recognized.

The only thing that ever mattered was the experience of connection to the wholeness of my own nature. It is because my passions lead me to that connection that they draw me so irresistably. The things I love and care about are the path to connection with my Self.

The more I allow those things to guide my life, the more joy increases. The more fully aligned I become with my passions, the more I express the uniqueness of this particular expression of the wholeness that is my complete nature. That uniqueness then begins to fit perfectly with other apparent unique expressions of that same wholeness.

This fitting together is like the weaving of a tapestry. Each thread is essential to the beauty of the ultimate design. There is no thread which can be left out without taking away from the perfection of the whole.

This is life. The awareness of the necessity of every single part to complete the magnificence of the totality. With this recognition there is no experience of life which can bring anything but joy.

The Magnificence of Unity

Posted on October 1, 2008 by Chris Attwood

It is miraculous that every part of this apparent creation is able to observe it from its own perspective. As humans we each have the ability to experience the whole in the context of our own needs to grow into the realization of unity.

There is a Sanskrit saying, "Anoraniyan mahatomaniyan." The whole exists from smaller than the smallest to bigger than the biggest. And in each part of creation, the whole is contained.

So as an apparently individual personality, the whole of creation revolves around "me." Wow! Every interaction, friendship, experience, is a perfect reflection of what is "inside" of me and is exactly what I require to move from the illusion of separation to the joy of unity.

This is why each of us experiences increasing joy as we give priority to the things we love. And why we get increasingly miserable as we deny the loves of our life, the passions in our life, to do what we "think" we "should" do. The saying from The Passion Test, "What you love and God's will for you are one and the same" is the expression of that truth.

"God's will" is life's inherent intelligence which is always guiding me to open more fully and completely to the reality of unity. The more I choose for separation, the more I suffer. The more I choose for connection, integration, collaboration, the more success, the more joy, the more fun I have in I life.

And this "I" applies to each of us. Dharma, the path of right action, is the path of life in which my apparent individual nature is completely integrated with, cooperating with, and supporting every other aspect of creation. I am living my passions, giving my unique gifts, loving each part of my life because I recognize every single part as the gift it is.

When I am attacked, it is a chance to gain more clarity. When I deny the gift that is being given to me in that moment and resist and fight back, without understanding, then I deny myself the ability to expand into a new, more expanded experience of life.

Attacks come from two sources, the need to correct a direction which is leading me to greater suffering and unhappiness--in other words, it's a wake-up call, or a test of my resolve, my commitment, to what I know to be true, right and aligned with my purpose in life.

In either case, and with every experience of my life, it is uniquely and specifically designed for me, to allow me to know myself more deeply, or, from the perspective of unity, just to have more fun.

Miraculously, the billions of apparent "me's" each exist in their own world, specifically designed for them for the very same purpose, to step into the experience of unity. The world of each of these "me's" is perfectly connected with, aligned with and integrated with the world of every other "me".

In science it's called infinite correlation. Each experience is completely and infinitely correlated with every other experience in creation.

That is the true miracle of the magnificent, unfathomable intelligence of unity.

Unity is Not Sameness

Posted on September 21, 2008 by Chris Attwood

We live in a world of apparent differences which in reality is unified, but that does not mean that everything we experience is the same.

It's as if the totality of I has chosen to enter into a portion of me and experience myself from the perspective of that part. As if my conscious awareness entered into a cell in the body and experienced the body from the perspective of that cell.

From the perspective of the cell, I interact with my surrounding cells, I eat and eliminate, I perform a function which impacts the functions of other cells around me and if I fail to perform my assigned function then imbalance and perhaps disease is created in the body.

From this cell's perspective, I am unaware of the whole functioning of the body and all the diiferent activities in the body appear to be out of my control. I may even feel like a victim of those activities.

But with the ability of self-awareness, the cell may come to expand its experience of its own nature. By diving deep within its own consciousness, the cell (in this analogy) could experience the state of awareness which is unidentified with anything, which is just pure awareness by itself, and which is common to all parts of the body.

Then the cell may begin to see its interaction with the cells around it as part of a larger process of life and living. In fact the cell may start to identify more with its connectedness to other parts of the body than to its separateness from them.

There could come a point that the cell so completely identifies with that which it has in common that its sense of separateness drops away altogether. At that point the cell's perception of what it considers to be itself is not just a cell, but the whole body.

Perhaps this is the same when the body, in this analaogy, is all that exists and the cell is our individual mind-body organism. The more completely we connect with the source of awareness, the experience of awareness itself, which is not identified with any particular mind-body, then the more the apparently individual mind-body connects with the state which is common to all experience.

As that awareness grows, "my" perception of "myself" as separate from that of which "I" appear to be a part drops away. I begin to see the value and importance of each apparent part of my experience. In fact, I begin to see that each apparent part--the beautiful, the "ugly", the sweet, the "bitter", the tasty, and that which is eliminated after the taste is gone--all are absolutely essential to the wholeness of the experience of this thing I call life.

It is its effectiveness in allowing the mind to settle down and experience that inner state of pure awareness and the resulting increasing experience of the connectedness of life which has made Transcendental Meditation® (www.tm.org) such an important and valuable part of life. It is like a direct doorway into unity. 

Unity and Relationships

Posted on September 15, 2008 by Chris Attwood

What are the implications of unity for the relationships in my life?

The experience of unity is self-validating. It doesn't need to be affirmed by anyone or anything, because, guess what? From the perspective of unity, there IS nothing else.

So what does it mean when we look for validation? Does that mean we are not experiencing unity?

First of all, the only experience that is truly real, is unity. We can't step out of it, we can't lose it. We can only forget it's reality in the forest of our thoughts.

When I look for validation from what appears to be someone else, I am asking myself to validate a thought. Thoughts by definition reflect the appearance of separation and therefore a thought can never be validated. However, the act of asking is showing me a part of myself that doubts the truth of my own experience.

The people in my life are the expressions of the parts of my own nature that are here to reflect to me my own inner workings. Who I see, what they say to me or are telling me is what I tell myself. In some cases, I may have hidden these inner workings so thorougly that they may be unrecognizable to me.

Knowing this, there is no "sub-conscious." All parts of me are always clearly visible and available by seeing the world in which I appear to live. This world is nothing but the creation of my own awareness, my own consciousness.

Those relationships which are closest to me are the parts of me that are leading me to the experiences most necessary, right now, to undo the patterns which keep me immersed in the illusion of separateness or which allow me to most fully enjoy the experience of my innermost nature. The rest of what appears to be the world provides a context, a backdrop that allows the story of life to seem real, and therefore interesting.

Relationships express my relationship with myself. Therefore there is no one to blame. There is no one to hurt other than myself. There is no one to love, other than myself. And this "myself" encompasses all of what I call the world and includes every "person" who appears to be part of my life.

Relationships exist to grow in the love of every aspect of my being, which means to grow in love of every part of life.

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